I haven’t posted in 28 days. I know this because my Facebook page for this project helpfully tells me how long it’s been since people have heard from me. It’s a consistent reminder of what I’m NOT doing. I’m not writing. I’m not posting. I’m not progressing. Well, at least not in a way that is immediately or outwardly visible.
I haven’t been idle. But this isn’t the part of the story where I tell you that I’ve been working hard on some super-secret project that I’m about to reveal. In fact, I pretty much pushed all my side projects to the sideline for the last four weeks. There is very little work output that I can point to in order to say “look, I did that!”
And I’ll admit that at first it felt a bit like failure. As my “days since posting” crept into the double digits, I started to feel like I was letting myself down. That I was somehow failing myself by not posting, by not producing some kind of tangible output.
Which is really ironic because for the last four weeks, my all-consuming project has been building a better me. I had a lot of really awesome things going on, both at work and in my personal life, that required significant amounts of energy. And when push came to shove, I relied upon the strategies I’ve been exploring and writing about in this blog to replenish myself.
And it worked!
That doesn’t mean it was perfect. There were still times that I was really low energy. Times that I needed to step away entirely and recuperate. But I was better equipped to handle the demands of my job and my life overall.
And it got me here. Tired but not drained. Tested, tempered, and a little bit stronger today than I was yesterday. Ready (more or less) for what tomorrow has in store.
There’s nothing wrong with stepping away. There’s nothing wrong with taking time to hit the pause button and regenerate before moving forward again. I’ve heard it called Self-Care. I like to think of it as Self-Investment. And I’m worth it!
So are you.
See you at the finish line!
-The Jack of Spades